Love and Attachment

Love occurs in stages when a true love relationship occurs. During these various stages different chemicals are stimulated in the brain as a response to the attraction. This various chemical reactions that occur to people when they are attracted to someone and then develop a relationship with them is called chemistry. When two people have chemistry, it is mutual feeling that lays the groundwork for a true love relationship.

When two people fall in love the stages culminate into a commitment that makes the relationship permanent. Attachment and bonding in the last stage of falling in love fosters commitment. All the other stages give way to the last one which is commitment as the relationship develops. During the commitment phase of love the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin are found to be released more so than any other time of a falling in love relationship and its other stages.

Oxytocin is actually a female neurotransmitter. It is found in female reproductive biochemical reactions and interactions in the female body. It also plays a role in bonding and social identification as well. When the female body is stimulated to release this chemical when the person feels trust, love and maternal instincts. It is also found in the plasma of both women and men during orgasms. It’s the chemical oxytocin that makes one feel content, reduction in anxiety as well as promoting calmness and security in relation to a mate.

Vasopressin is released during sexual activity. It also stimulates the initiation of patterns of activity in relation to bonding between sexually active partners. This neurotransmitter stimulates males to act aggressively to other males. Vasopressin is what makes men territorial in relation to their mates.

Sometimes people have trouble making a commitment or being in a stable relationship. This is usually because the chemistry isn’t mutual. As a result there is something lacking that doesn’t enable the relationship to get to the stage of commitment or bonding emotionally. You will also find with people who do not have a mutual chemistry and don’t feel complete within a relationship. This is when they may end up having a few partners or cheat in order to fill in the need of what’s lacking with their primary partner because of no chemistry.

When the chemistry is right between two people it makes them want to bond and commit. It is the natural progression of love. Lack of chemistry is one of the main culprits for why relationships don’t last. If two people do not feel a spark for each other it is very hard to make a real true love commitment. Some people feel they don’t need to feel chemistry to have a relationship. But the reality is that it is hard to commit to someone that doesn’t turn you on in all the ways a person wants. Two people stay together through thick and thin when they have a real love for one another and click when the chemistry is right. This is what makes them want to commit on a permanent basis.


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